I have a favorite and it isn’t you

As children, there is nothing more gratifying than knowing your parents love you and are proud of you. Their love and support in all that you do in life will give you the strength and courage to overcome almost anything that comes before you. So how does it make you feel when you do everything that you can as an adult to help your aging parents, to show them love, and support and it is all in vain? While your siblings do absolutely nothing and are catered to as if they were God’s. Those siblings can do no wrong. While, no matter how much you do, you cannot do enough. You work hard your entire adult life to acquire basic needs. These things are freely given away to your siblings, leaving you with none. When you say something in defense of the wrong done to you, you are told if you do not like it here then leave. Perhaps you are a guest in your parent’s home, so you buy all the food, pay all the bills, and work hard every day cleaning and fixing all the things you can. You spend all your money to make your parents more comfortable and their home nicer than it has ever been. You loan money to your siblings to help with medical bills and other things that come up, rarely ever getting paid back if at all. Yet no matter how much love you show them, or how much you give, all that you get in return is sarcasm, disrespected, shunned, ignored, and hurt. No matter what you say or do, somehow it is always your fault. You are the one that caused the trouble.
It should be pretty obvious by now, that your parents have a favorite and it is not you. If you cannot physically separate yourself from them, try giving them as much space as possible. Do not let them or their actions define who you are. Always be the selfless loving soul that you are. If you can still do for them or help them then do so if you choose, not because you have to but because you want to. When you do something for them do not expect anything in return, not even a thank you, certainly not any praise. That way you will not be disappointed. Try your best to live your life as separate from them as possible. Live your life to the fullest, stay happy, and stay healthy. Since it is impossible to please them, stop trying. The only person that you need to please is yourself. If you can stand before a mirror and in all honesty be proud of the person you see looking back at you, then keep doing what you do. Sometimes it is hard to face these facts, but the truth is, that parents are not always right. Just because they are our parents does not mean they can never be wrong and by virtue, we agree with or support everything they say and do. Certainly catering to a child or adult child at your expense, that does nothing to contribute to a parent’s needs, while not acknowledging all that you are doing for your parent’s needs is just wrong. Being a parent does not give you any “I’m always right cards.” So stop feeling guilty for being good. Stop feeling like you have done something wrong simply by requesting the same respect others are given who do not deserve it. Stand tall and be proud of who you are and all that you do.
As for myself and those, that matter we have a favorite too, and it will always be you.

Simply My Thoughts
Dean Butler