If you smash your finger, do you do the same thing to the rest of them because you’re hurt and angry? Of course, you don’t. You do everything you can to ease and soothe the pain. You want to make it better more so than worse. If you have a flat tire on your vehicle, do you slash the others because you’re angry or disgusted? Of course, you don’t. You try to get it fixed so that you can be on your way again. If one would keep this frame of mind when their relationship is concerned they may find they will more often than not get the same results. If you are hurt or angry at your significant other lashing out at them or trying to hurt them will not make your hurt or anger go away. Pain does not sooth pain. Anger does not calm anger. The words you say or things you do in anger are not always made better simply by saying I didn’t mean it, I am sorry. A fight or argument only gets better when each has time to cool and gather their thoughts, apologize for their mistakes and decide to find a resolution they can both live with and accept. If you know this is what it is going to take to make it work in the end, why not put the end in the beginning and spare the feelings of the one you love? Why not talk to each other like you mean something to one another in the beginning, rather than after you have already scarred their heart. You cannot say I hate you, I wish I had never met you and truly love them at the same time. Just like you cannot take a step backward and forwards at the same time. If your relationship is overwhelmed with excuses if you find this difficult to understand and or do then perhaps you should redefine your own definition of love.
Simply my thoughts
Dean Butler
