So what is Chivalry?
Chivalry, or the chivalry code, is an informal and varying code of conduct developed between 1170 and 1220. It was associated with the medieval Christian institution of knighthood. A knight and gentleman’s behaviors were governed by chivalrous social codes.
Today we do not see too many knights. Sadly we do not see too many gentlemen either. Nor do we see too many ladies.
What we do see is a lot of excuses. The girls want to be considered equal to the boys. The boys want to oblige them. So you see a lot of guys walking through doors and letting them close in front of the girls approaching them. You see a lot of guys sitting in the car warm and dry while the girls are in the damp freezing cold pumping gas. There are a lot more women getting beaten up by boys these days since they are equal, it is just like fighting another boy, so they say.
Maybe I am wrong and really do not understand this movement. Maybe for the most part chivalry is dead.
It is not dead in me, nor is being a gentleman. I believe I can treat a woman as my equal and still be a gentleman and treat her like a lady. When I walk through a door I will hold it open for whoever will be coming or going through that door also. That does not destroy anyone’s equal rights or masculinity. It is just being polite. I will get out and pump the gas for my daughter, sister, mother, or whatever female accompanies me. Not because I think I have something to prove, but because I do not.
I always speak to any female Just like any male, with politeness and respect. Not because of who they are but because of who I am.
I will never raise my hand to a female in an angry or harmful manner. Even if she is hitting me, I will simply take whatever she dishes out, not because I feel I have to, or I am afraid not to, but because I can.
If we simply do the right thing in almost any situation we are being chivalric. Why does being kind or polite have to mean you are not equal? It does not in any shape, form, or fashion. It is nothing more than an excuse for the boys to act irresponsibly, selfishly, and rudely. Just as it is an excuse for those girls that get offended if someone opens a door for them. Do not worry ladies, just because someone holds a door open for you or some other gentlemanly task to help you or be polite to you, is in no way demeaning to your character. In fact, you can flex your muscles as you pass by.
If you are a female, do not be offended if a man holds a door open for you or offers to carry something for you, or any gentlemanly task he may offer. He is not attacking your identity he is merely acknowledging his own and being kind to you in the process.
It takes an incredibly special and rare kind of man to always be a gentleman, always be chivalric, and always help others in distress no matter who they are. I am damn proud to be one of them.
Simply my Thoughts
Dean Butler
