I had a friend and follower of Simply my thoughts approached me asking if I would mind if he asked me some questions that he could share on his blog. I agreed to answer the questions and asked if he had a problem with me sharing them on the pages of Simply my thoughts. I felt if he had these questions possibly others do as well. Following are the questions and my reply to them.
Thank you, Dean Butler
1. Are you planning on writing a book?
ANSWER: The thought of writing a book, in the beginning, had not crossed my mind. However, after sharing some of my thoughts I have had many suggestions to me that I should write a book because I had a unique way with words and conveying my feelings. I have had some comments describing the impact my thoughts have made in a good way in their lives. So at this point, if it is at all possible I would truly love to write a book if for no other reason at all simply to make a difference in a life.
2. How long have you been writing?
ANSWER: As long as I can remember a dabbled in poetry for the simple reason of being a hopeless romantic. Actually writing as I am here sharing my thoughts started a few years back maybe 10 years back on a blogging site called Xanga. If I may I would like to elaborate on my beginning. Around 10 years ago I had a relative I was very close to that was battling depression the only way she knew how self-mutilation. She would take a pencil eraser and erase it on her skin until it would leave scars. Her mother got her in counseling to no avail she would not open up to them. She wouldn’t talk to anyone. Her mother told me that she spent a lot of time talking to her friends on the computer though. She was always on some site called Xanga. So I thought I would look into it. I found her page which was dark and Goth-looking. As I scrolled down her page I noticed she had friends that she didn’t really know on a personal level. Friends that she felt comfortable enough with to talk to about things she wouldn’t talk to family about. I thought if I created my own Xanga page, making it dark and Goth looking, using an alias name, a random city, and state, age, etc then became her friend maybe, just maybe I could get her to open up to me. In Greek Mythology there is a God of Dreams “Morpheus” and so Morpheus page was born. In the beginning, I would go to her blogs and simply comment. My comments were much like my thoughts are now. I would try to get her to look at her situation from a different perspective. At first, she rebelled and even un-friended me once. Then she came to me with a question along with an apology for un-friending me. We became great friends, she was so impressed with my advice that she sent friends, and they would send friends. We finally talked one on one in a chat. This was the turning point in this young lady’s life. She no longer hurt herself, she had pride and believed in herself, she was confident. We are still very close and she is still a beautiful person inside and out. She told me just last night when I asked for permission to share this story that I had helped her through a lot. I assured her we helped each other. It was through her and her many friends that I realized I could make a difference. Thank you, Ashley…. I love you.
3. How do you develop your thoughts, where do they come from?
ANSWER: I am not an educated person, I’m not a Dr. of psychology. I have no background in counseling. I am about as normal a person as anyone that reads my thoughts. My thoughts are pre-existing for the most part just as yours are. They came from my own personal life experiences, mixed with a little philosophy acquired over the years from reading and listening, and a lot of logic also known as common sense. Every day of our lives from birth is a lesson. Just as in all areas of our lives we have a choice, we can take these lessons and learn from them applying the helpful and useful to our lives and discarding the rest. Or we can take each day for just another day and take nothing from it at all. I remember when I was a child wishing that my parents would just listen to me with an open mind and try to understand me. I remember wishing that I could go to them without fear or shame and talk to them about anything at all I needed to talk about. Without the fear of being judged or humiliated. I became what I wished for. A lot of us, even a majority of us are no more than chains in a link being the parents we had because it was how we were raised, it was what we were taught. A few break that link, they become what they had wished their parents were and encourage their children to do the same. My thoughts are just that…Simply my thoughts about how I feel certain life events are seen through my eyes, how I feel about them from my heart. I express these feelings by writing them down. I share them because others have encouraged me to do so.
4. What is your favorite subject you wrote about so far? ANSWER: If I had to choose a favorite it would likely be “Tough Love”. I feel for the most part tough love is a resolve that has been passed down from generation to generation with very little thought about its application in this day and time or its consequences‘. It was a thought acquired from a personal experience, regret and lesson learned.
5. Do you consider yourself an advice page?
ANSWER: Not really. Advice is usually offered when requested and very rarely accepted. I consider my page a place for me to express my thoughts and feelings. Open to the public encouraging readers’ own thoughts. Stating my thoughts are just that, Simply my thoughts what you choose to do with them will be your choice alone. My thoughts are on my own personal experiences, that have directly or indirectly involved myself or my family members. There are some that are in reply to direct questions or random situations I felt compelled to comment on in hopes of showing others a different perspective.
6. What was the toughest subject you have written about? ANSWER: The death of my son, Heath
7. Why do you wish not to share about religion or politics? ANSWER: I focus on choices I have made or thoughts about choices others have made that can be applied to one’s life regardless of their religion, political stand, nationality, race, gender, or sexual preference. There are roughly 4,200 religions in the world all with their similarities and differences. For me to make a religious statement I would have to take a quote or fact from one of them leaving the rest anxious to debate my claim. Politics are much the same each having its pros and cons, supporters and haters. I don’t want to create friction in an already volatile world. I want to help people see a brighter side, a maybe different perspective than they saw before. And if they can incorporate my thoughts into their beliefs and make them even better… that can only be a plus.
8. Are you still working on deanswordofmouth.com?
ANSWER: I am sorry to say that I am not at this moment. During the year that I lost a brother, father, and son I ran into some hard times I have not been able to recover from. Simply said, I cannot afford the upkeep of the site right now. I hope to be able to get it back in operation soon.
9. Are you considering doing an audio version of your work? ANSWER: I haven’t thought of that actually but it would be a great idea I’ll bet. In a lot of what I have written, there is a lot of feeling that is not as easily felt reading it as it would be hearing it read with the compassion I felt writing it. Thank you very much for the suggestion and believing my work, my thoughts are worthy.
10. Read your words about Heath, is there anything else you would like to say?
ANSWER: It is always difficult for me to read that. I stood up in front of everyone at his funeral and shared those words. I could never say enough about my son. Every day I think of him, I miss him and hurt over his absence in all our lives. I wanted to channel my pain into a meaningful message. I wanted to convey to others that life is better and there is always, always someone that cares. The world is not a perfect world, we are not perfect people, my thoughts will not be perfect either. I can’t bring back my son, but if I can save yours it will mean everything to me.
11. Tell us about you.
ANSWER: That would be a book in itself. So much has happened in my life I wouldn’t know where to start. I was born in a small Louisiana town in North Central Louisiana. I am in the middle of my dad’s 7 kids the oldest of my mother’s four. I grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles Calif. Until the age of 9 at which time we moved back to Louisiana. I was permanently banned from any and all school campuses at the end of my 9th-grade year for fighting and went to work with my dad full time installing flooring. I married my first wife at the age of 17 had a son and daughter while married for 15 years. After my divorce, I had custody of my children and met my second wife with which I had a daughter and was with her around 10 years having joint custody of that daughter. I strive to learn everything I could about my business and trade becoming the very best at it I could be. I took every opportunity to learn other trades, heavy equipment operating, industrial construction, welding, offshore, and fabrication yards. Hand-carved custom color inlaid area rugs and wall hangings. I traveled all over the mainland USA renovating theaters for one of our large theater chains. I have been financially well off and completely busted more times than I can count. For the past 10 years, I have suffered from osteoarthritis and degenerative spine disease. I am and have been for a few years now on total disability. I had two discs taken out of my neck and five they want to work on in my lower back. I plan to marry my life partner, best friend, and female version of myself soon. She currently lives in the Philippines. I have three children, two stepchildren I claim as my own, and nine grandkids all of which I love dearly. I still try to work when I can to stay on top of my bills. I have very little materialistically but I have my family and that is everything to me. If I get out chances are you will see me pulled over somewhere helping someone with something. I have worked hard I know pain and loss. I don’t get paid and will not accept payment for helping someone. The gratitude in their smile and eyes is payment enough. Sharing the story and hearing how it impacts others’ lives is my true reward. I strive every day to live a life that matters. I hope that when I am gone and my kids and grandkids hear my name it is in a good way.
12. Simply my thoughts, what does this mean to you?
ANSWER: It is proof to me every day one person can make a huge impact and difference on others and their lives. It is proof to me that you can have heartfelt feelings and compassion for others even people you may never see or truly know. The pen truly is mightier than the sword.
13. How has your page impacted your life or others?
ANSWER: Simply my thoughts are just that, my thoughts. If you have read everything I have written then you will know a lot about how I think. When I started as Morpheus I was nothing like the man I am today. Although somewhat compassionate towards others needing help I was also very short-tempered, I had very little patience, I rarely made any effort to look past the obvious. It is as if I spent my whole life living in darkness and from nowhere there came light. Everything that goes on in my life or around me I look at from not just one but many different perspectives, I apply logic and make every effort to switch places with that other person in my own mind. You can’t make any real sense of anything without truly understanding it. I have slowed way down in my fast-paced life, slow enough to analyze and understand the events that make up every precious moment of it. I have had so many people come to me and thank me for something I have written. Sharing with me how it impacted their life. Bring them out of a state of depression and give them a feeling of self-worth. I have had people literally go out into their community paying it forward leaving notes with my name on them letting them know they are doing it on my behalf. I have had people contact me asking me if I would write to a relative that is incarcerated and try to encourage them to hold their heads up and look forward to rejoining society. I was not able to save my sons’ life but I feel his life surging through me every time I read something someone else had written telling me how my writing, my testimony about my way of life has impacted theirs. When I see the smile on someone’s face the gratitude in their eyes when I help them and refuse payment but suggest paying me by helping someone else….. It is like seeing someone that has long since been lost and was just found. The feeling is amazing. I would so love for everyone to experience that feeling at least once in their lives. I have no doubt that it would be a life-changing event for them as well. Thank you for all that you do, most of all just for being you.
Simply my thoughts
Dean Butler
