I know all too well that all parents are not alike, or even have good intentions toward their children. Equally, all children are not alike. I am not suggesting that no matter what all children should without question abide by the rules their parents lay before them. What I am saying is before you assume your parent is wrong perhaps you should do as you are asking them to do. Look at it from their point of view. You wish to be trusted…then trust, You wish to be respected…then respect. You cannot expect to get that which you are not willing to give. Being a parent is not just about trust. Trust means a lot in every aspect of life but it goes far deeper than trust. Most all teenagers have the same issues and the same outlook. Their argument is why do you not trust me? I do everything you ask, I make good grades in school, damn cut me a little slack, will you? I see your point. And in a perfect world, you deserve to be cut a little slack. The sad part is my friend the world is everything but perfect. There is in a parent’s eyes no such thing as being overprotective. This is why I suggested reading a newspaper. Let me share some headlines with you and then elaborate just a little. A 12-YEAR-OLD GIRL IS STRUCK AND KILLED BY A PASSING CAR. Every morning this little girl’s mother would go out to the bus stop with her until she was safely on the bus. The little girl’s friends picked on her because her mother was there with her. She complained to her mother, Mom I am a big girl, I don’t need you to stand out there with me to catch the bus. All my friends are picking on me. The mother trying to see her point and not wanting her to be picked on said OK. Instead, she watched secretly from behind the blinds. All was well on the first day. Her daughter was happy. Her friends were not picking on her, she had a great day at school. The second day was not so great. While waiting for her bus her puppy came out to her. She was petting it then, suddenly the puppy darted out to the street. In fear of her puppy getting run over, she rushed to get it. She took three steps into the road and was hit by a truck. She tried to crawl back to the curb but died before she could get there. Her mother watched her only child die on the side of the road. The baby girl she had so many plans for died because her friends picked on her. She was dead because her mother wanted to protect her. Nothing on this earth can bring her back. It has been many years and still every day the mother looks out from behind those blinds. Only now she looks at a little white cross that marks the spot where her daughter died. Every day that bus passes all her friends see that little white cross. I wonder if they ever think to themselves have they not picked on her maybe……… maybe she would still be on that bus and that cross would not be there. Until you have a child of your own and know what it is to truly love a child you can not define over-protected. I have two daughters, I trust them, and they did well in school. They also think I am overprotective. One of them was supposed to go out with her friends one evening. A young man, a teenager came to pick her up. Being the overprotective parent I am I insisted he come in before they leave. He did, I smelled alcohol on his breath. He swore he only drank one. It did not matter to me she was not going. She argued, Dad I’m not drinking or going to, why can’t you trust me? I told her I do trust her. But even more than that I loved her. Less than an hour later she got a phone call from another friend. The boy she would have left with ran off the road, flipped his truck, and was killed. Believe me, I would rather my kids live and hate me for being overprotective than die and never know just how much I loved them or have their chance to know life. Not all parents are good parents. Not all kids are good kids. Good or bad, right or wrong, each deserves a level of respect, and trust… love however outweighs both. Before becoming irrational take a moment and think of the true motive behind what is asked of you. Get in touch with the REAL world around you and surely you will see many things from a whole new perspective.
Simply my thoughts
Dean Butler
