So many things in life come with sides. The top side, bottom side, left side, right side. Some even have a wrong side and a right side. There is even an inside out. And then there are things that have sides that should have no sides at all. Yet they have the most prominent sides. How crazy is that? When a couple separates, married or not, why does there need to be aside? Why do the parents need to point fingers and voice accusations to the kids and or grandkids? Why does anyone need to be brought into the middle of your personal life and be forced to choose a side? When you were together did you force them to choose a side when you had a personal discussion about your life together or arguments? When you wanted to experiment with something different you heard about while having sex together did you ask them to help you decide? How about your friends and other family members? Did you get input from them also? If you didn’t require your children, grandchildren, family, and/or friends to get involved in your personal life when you were together why do you feel the need to do so when you separate or divorce? You are devoting time and effort into making your ex look bad, wrong, or whatever it is you are determined to accomplish, rather than giving yourself, your children, your family, and or your friends that time in a more positive, productive, and quality way. It doesn’t matter what you say about your ex. It doesn’t matter what you tell your friends, your children, or other family members either. It will not alter the chain of events that led to or ended your relationship. It will not improve your health, your finances, your future relationships, or your future at all. Just like it will change nothing in the life of your ex. What you will accomplish is causing pain and confusion for those you proclaim to care about entertaining your own selfish desire to stir up trouble, for someone that is no longer a part of your life. You give your children and grandchildren choices, they must choose between you or your ex. The same for other family members and mutual friends. Or maybe you coerce some of your friends and family to join your quest to spy for you and collect information. All of which is readily available and easy to acquire because your ex is openly moving on with their lives and seeking the happiness they could not find with you. Had you not made every effort to cause more problems than already existed and blocked everyone out of your life, you would not require a spy to gather the information you seek. I always said the best way to get back at someone that is no longer a part of your life, and had something to do with making your life miserable, is to let them see how happy you are without them in it. Let the children, family members, and friends all base their choices on their own relationship with your ex without your input. Trying to keep the peace, and as much of a family together as possible when there is a breakup is always better than doing all that you can to completely destroy everything about a family. All the hard work you invest in trying to hurt your ex, you should be investing in your own happiness. Doing all that you can to let your ex see how happy you are without them in your life also. Everyone could still have some sort of social life with all the kids and grandkids, friends, and other family members. Did it ever occur to you that everything vengeful you are doing to your ex could very well be exactly why you are, an EX? When you divorce or separate there is no side. There is however a choice. You can choose to remain miserable, unhappy, and hurt. Or you can choose to live your life to the fullest, regardless of everything anyone else says or does. I CHOOSE HAPPINESS AND LIFE.
Simply my Thoughts
Dean Butler
